You are a bit taller than me and same weight. So i can tell you that you are not fat. Perhaps you are struggling to find a balance, i know thats why i turned to the snake diet a while back. I am here to tell you that your weight is fine, but if you are looking to be leaner, try exercising doing something you enjoy and try to limit carbs and sugars. I know its the longer route, but it seems like you are just struggling to find a balance just like I was. Best of luck to you!
Before I say anything, no, you metabolism is not “ruined.” Nothing is ruined or abnormal.
Your weight is fine. What you need is control over eating; you are, indeed, an addict, though your previous mentality wasn’t helpful either.
You need to do a year of strict OMAD. I don’t care what it is, you -only- eat one meal a day from now on. A normal meal, whatever you would like, but only in one sitting. No going back, no finishing it later, no leftovers. This should help you to gain mental control and perspective on food and the power it holds over you.
Check out the blog FireInABottle.net, and it’s subreddit /r/SaturatedFat
There’s a theory that the reason we become obese is because we have too much poly-unsaturated fat in our bodies - which causes the body to slow it’s metabolism down in preparation for a winter hibernation (which for modern humans, never comes).
If your body is burning mostly saturated fat, it will generally raise your body temperature instead of storing the excess calories as fat.
It’s one way to eat everyday, but if you do it right you should be burning off the fat instead of storing it.
Here’s a recent success story