One of the hardest things to face was that most of the people I was friends with weren’t going to deal well with my changes. The amount of passive aggressive prodding. The amount of people asking if I am sick. The amount of people telling me that breakfast was the most important mean of the day. Then I went from overweight to a dad bod and the comments stopped. And then they started again when I hit the weight I was when I was 20 and hasn’t stopped. 3.5 years later and at Christmas family gathering I had to listen to it.
People live a life where they don’t want to face their own issues. They also want to believe that they way they do something is the only way. Most people live in a fantasy land when it comes to their own health. They think crazy things about it mostly because that is what everyone else does and what they were told. They want to believe that turning 40 is the reason you get old. They don’t want to face that it is largely the things they inflict on themselves. So they want everyone to do what they do. They want you to conform because they take what you are doing as a comment on what they are. And it is amazing to watch them try and figure out why you are healthy and they are not.
It gets easier the longer you do it as you just become that thing. But people will always remember that you were heavier. And then when you are able to keep that weight off for years they have a problem. You can just see it in their eyes that they are waiting for you to fall so they could tell you I told you so. But they don’t get I figured it out. And I no longer allow myself to participate in their delusions.
So that meant some of my friends I am no longer friends with. And those family I can’t avoid I just shrug at. I used to get mad but I realise this is just who they are and in many ways what I was like only a few years ago. So I feel for them more then be angry with them. And don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t when you know you are right. The proof is in the results and how healthy you are now. I know that at 47 there are not many 27 year olds that can keep up with me. So that is typically my go to is to invite someone to workout with me if they ask if I am sick. Strangely I’ve never had anyone take me up on that.
Tell them you know how to eat. You’re an adult and you’ve already got those skills.
Is it possible that they are sincerely worried about an eating disorder? I can understand it. Tell them to read something on IF and then ask questions.
I get the “don’t starve to death” sometimes but I just explain unless you try it for yourself, you will never understand. It’s been a gift for my ADHD and I wish I had discovered this a long time ago.
I simply don’t discuss my eating with anyone. If someone comes round my house, I just say I’m having a late lunch as working late (don’t mention I didn’t eat breakfast).
I try not to lie as don’t see why I should, but give people as little info as I can. The only people I discuss with are those who have done or are doing IF.
Possibly too late with this group - is it possible to just leave when they order pizza? Do you have to be there? Try to engage as little as you can.
I found that food is such a touchy subject for people because if you say some thing personal about your choices it seems to trigger them and their choices and they feel judged and there is a sense of projection when they push back. So what I’ve done is just avoided eating by saying oh I’m not hungry or oh I just ate because otherwise people really want you to eat I think out of some sort of social ritual - way to connect.
Do we have the same co-workers? Like, I’m grateful you’re willing to share your food, but just because I say no, doesn’t mean I don’t still appreciate the gesture. Some people literally can’t take no for an answer like it’s them or something.
I think it’s time to gently ask them not to discuss your food or diet. You shouldn’t be having these conversations in work because frankly you don’t know who has had a history with ED or who knows someone who has and this food avoiding behaviours will be concerning.
This is expected social behavior bro. People see these types of eating habits as different, and can’t understand or don’t know what it takes to stick to them. I see where they are coming from because it’s kinda of weird to invite someone to eat or drink and having them just stare at the wall but if you are pursuing a goal they should understand and respect your decisio.
Do they do it every day? I just don’t feel like explaining myself to other people and I do 18/6 on days I eat with my colleagues and OMAD the other days. It’s usually about twice a week I’m 18/6 instead of OMAD. I’m fine with the inconsistency, but others probably wouldn’t be.
I do a lot of ADF nowadays and just adjust what days I do it to what’s going on in the office. If I happen to have 3 feeding days in a row because of crap going on the in the office, it really doesn’t matter in the long run. I get right back on the ADF horse as soon as I’m able.