I apologise for this being pretty journal-y but I wanted to relate today’s experience for some reason?
Fasting used to be reasonably easy for me. Days 2~3 usually only mildly uncomfortable no matter how I was eating before I started them, and i averaged 4~5 day fasts most of the time. Then I took a break for most of a year. Now it’s very difficult to make it past 48 hours. But I want those damn autophagy benefits again!!
Today I woke up at hour 43 feeling extremely weak and frail, and realized I had run out of water. Tried to perk myself up by putting a drop of vinegar on my finger and tasting it (??? Idk the logic there). Instead I was hit with waves of really intense nausea/gagging, followed by sweating and hot and cold shivers that forced me to lie down for an hour. Never had shit like that before.
I needed that damn water, but tap water here is very suspect. Especially in my old building with its old pipes. So I managed to drag myself out of the apartment and walk veeeeery slowly down the street until I hit the very first place with water I could find. A restaurant. Felt rude if I only ordered water, so I got a dish as well. As soon as the water hit I immediately felt more lively. Obviously I was just severely dehydrated! But the dish was already being prepared and this restaurant JUST opened up so apparently they don’t have their takeaway setup ready yet. To order food and leave it untouched on the table would have been one hell of a social faux pas here. So i broke my fast. Progress ruined.
I’m alright with it. I failed at getting back to my old habits AGAIN but I’m happy for as long as I managed. The calories for today are essentially halved since they’re covering yesterday too. There’s a big push in these kinds of self-improvement communities that “you’re not in competition with other people, you’re only playing against yourself” as a way to get you to focus on bettering yourself without being held back by envy. That’s good. But I think maybe it’s okay to not be in competition with anyone at all, yourself included.
I really like the last part there, maybe it’s okay to not compete at all :) Progress, not perfection. 43h is pretty good! That’s the longest I’ve managed lately. And I guess there’s always something to learn. Maybe like needing to prepare stuff like having enough water?
I really enjoyed your “journal” style thoughts. Thank you for sharing them here.
On an entirely different note, I currently live somewhere with AMAZING tap water, and every time I travel to somewhere with not so great tap water I really struggle to stay hydrated. I’m sorry your tap water sucks!