How do I know if I’m comfort eating? I was told by my dad that I was fat my whole life, looking back on photos I was just as skinny as everyone else. My first diets started when I was ten years old. I’ve been dieting and regaining for many years. I know it’s usually a women’s thing but I’m insecure about my weight. My dad randomly stops me and yells at me because I’m fat. He tells me that I buldge out of my clothes and that I’m getting huge. Right now I’m 5”10 and I am very big, I weigh 240. How do I know if I comfort eat ? I am lonely and don’t have many friends, I stay home a lot and turn down events like pool parties. I’ve been doing this for a long time and I think I might comfort eat sometimes. If I am doing this, how do other people deal with emotions? I think it’s just hard to recognize sometimes when I’m doing it. I don’t realize that I don’t feel well.
You are posting on the Jason fung subreddit. Maybe best to actually get some personalised help from his team? I suspect they could give you more detailed assistance and can help you get to where you want to be. They are at thefastingmethod.com About your Dad - your current weight is high for your height. I suspect he is just very worried. See it through that prism rather than him just being mean to you.
Regardless of why you’re eating, you know you’re overweight and are worried and unhappy about it.
I would start with your GP and see if you can get referred to a dietitian.
You can also try counsellors that specialise in eating issues. Plus there may be online support groups and there is also mindfulness meditation which you can learn and do yourself - this can resolve or alleviate mental health issues for some people.
It may be that your father will help pay given he’s also worried about you.
Ultimately you need to find a way of eating that (a) brings your weight down and (b) maintains your weight in future. This may be changing what you eat, how much you eat, or when you eat - or a combination of these.
For me, the most effective change has been the “when” - I started intermittent fasting and I have incorporated it as a permanent lifestyle practice two days a week to maintain.
If a conventional diet, which is usually a combination of “what” and “how much” isn’t working, then the “when” may be what you need to focus on. For example 16:8 might be effective for you.
Maybe try /r/fasting and /r/IntermittentFasting for more information.
I am so sorry your parent has treated you this way. Sounds like your Dad has only seen you as an extension of his own ego since you were born. You didn’t have a weight problem but he basically bullied you and was emotionally and verbally abusive to you. That would cause anyone to seek out comfort through food because food does soothe the nervous system. Try not to judge yourself too much. I would say that in addition to your weight loss journey you should also seek a trauma informed therapist who is proficient in things like narcissistic parental abuse. Your Dad doesn’t sound like a nice person. This sounds extremely abusive and far more than just being “worried” for your health. He is trying to control you. People can love you and see you for who you are at any weight. My partner has always been overweight, for example, and I adore every single thing about him. If you decide to change your dietary habits, do it for YOU, not your Dad. I am so sorry this has been your experience. Also, remember that people invite you places because they genuinely enjoy your company, and feeling like you don’t deserve to go is a direct result of believing your father’s criticism of you. He. Is. Wrong. He is hurting your mental health and that kind of constant low grade stress causes things like CPTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder), can rewire your brain and increase stress hormones. Check out r/raisedbynarcissists for more validation. I say spend WAY less time around your Dad and find people who don’t make you feel like you’re hard to love, because I can guarantee you’re not. Stay clear of folks that make you feel like that. You deserve better. I think once your mental health improves and you feel connected to other humans who are mentally healthier than your Dad, then you will be less inclined to seek food for comfort and positive changes will happen naturally. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. That’s your Dad’s criticism stuck in your head, and it isn’t true. Your worth isn’t based on a scale number that literally just measures your gravitational pull toward the Earth. Hugs to you, my friend.