Hello everybody! I’ve got a question to ask all of you
So the thing is: I’ve tried pretty much anything and everything to lose weight/get fit at this point. Several gyms, several sports, several diets, home remedies, miracle products… you name it. My most recent “fit journey” has been a combination between boxing and IF; it has worked WONDERS for me, but my trip to fit land has abruptly ended… once again.
Now at this point you might be wondering: What is the actual issue with this guy then? The thing is… I don’t really know, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with my mind playing evil games with myself, and here’s why:
Even though I wasn’t a fat child from the very beginning (I was quite slim before 6-7), I’ve gravitated towards the bigger side since I started elementary school, and then eventually towards junior high and high school, both of them in which I was heavily bullied because of my weight, which caused me to believe the root of ALL my problems came from, precisely, my pretty evident overweight (Me being considered ugly, being frowned upon whenever I enter a room, not being able to get myself a romantic partner, etc.).
Now, back to the fatness: It’s because of this bullying for which I’ve always thought of myself as a “default/forever fat person”, therefore adopting this insanely uncomfortable overweight as part of my identity even though I honestly don’t want to be that way. I am WAY much more than the numbers shown on the scale.
My main concern here is: I honestly don’t know how to transform myself into this extremely fit and attractive person I know lives somewhere inside of me. It’s like I hit the three month mark at the gym or on some diet in which, even though I actually lose a considerable amount of weight (15 kg), for whatever reason I stop doing whatever thing I was doing that was actually giving me GREAT results.
That, I think, is because deep down I still haven’t started thinking of me as that person I wanna be and still adopt this fat person identity I have had for such a long time. For example: this last time I was slimming down like crazy, I had this sudden fear of “disappearing into thin air”(?)… And yes, I don’t get it either. Especially because I wasn’t that thin when I started getting those thoughts.
Another thought that came to my mind just after the previous one kinda receded was something between the lines of “You’ll never get to the size/shape you’ve always wanted, so you might aswell stop trying since now”, so… that’s pretty much what I did, basically. (Now, on a sidenote: This last time I was pretty conscious I had those thoughts and planned/was already working on ignoring them completely, but I sadly had to stop it because of a combination of both personal issues, COVID, and physical injuries that have prevented me from moving forward with my fitness journey.)
If anyone in here has ever come across a situation that has some sort of similarities with mine, could you please share whatever you did to overcome these obstacles? I don’t wanna be the person who died without being in his best possible shape, filled with regret of not being able to accomplish his dreams while everyone around him could. PLEASE.
I am very, very tired of this. I’m begging for your help.
Thanks in advance.
The three important parts of weight loss are diet, good sleep, and stress management.
You’ve heard it before, but you have to eat fewer calories than you burn. A tdee calculator like https://tdeecalculator.net can help; eat fewer calories than your maintenance number. And recalculate every once in a while to make sure you’re not overeating.
Get enough sleep, and if you have any chronic stress issues, deal with them.
And when you start making progress, don’t give up on yourself. Progress is a sign to keep going. Remember why you want to lose the weight, and keep going. You’re worth the time and effort it takes to lose the weight.
And when you fail at some part of it, get back up and start again. You’re not after perfection, you’re after progress.
Then add in some exercise program. Find something you enjoy and are willing to do often.
And post again in a year (at least) with your progress. (And, yes, take progress pics, not for us, but for you. You’ll be amazed at how your body changes.)