then I remind myself that I maintained my weight for 20 months and they were the worst 20 months of my life. The last 9 have been a living nightmare that I wake up to every day and hope that today is the day I finally wake up. I lost my little sister last May and didn’t try to eat my way out of it and she would be proud of me for that. I lost nearly 100 lbs in 9 months and now that I have gotten some professional help I felt like I am in a good place to start losing weight again and I am already down 10 lbs in 2022. Weight loss is called a journey for a reason. There are things that you should be learning along the way. IF taught me those things that made it possible for me to maintain my weight when the old version of me would have easily eaten my way to 300 lbs to escape the sadness and depression. So yeah not ideal that I put on 40 lbs when my life started to collapse around me but also good for me for not letting it be the end of me and putting it all back on if not more.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine losing one of my sisters. Sending you a big virtual hug OP.
That said, there are so many factors that go into weight loss and weight gain, including stress, emotional turmoil, etc. Hormonal fluctuations can have a huge bearing on our weight, and that can change with grief/loss like you are experiencing. We hold onto fat when we are stressed out — it is a mechanism to prevent us from starvation. Our bodies don’t know the difference between grief/loss or stress from food scarcity, so they hold extra just in case.
What’s most important is taking care of yourself emotionally and mentally. Be gentle with yourself. Your heart has suffered a profound loss.
Also know that bodies change. They aren’t meant to always stay the same. We change as life changes around us.
Sending so much love to you on your journey!
So sorry for your loss. But you are so right in being compassionate toward yourself. I gained about 40 in the past 1.5 years, and while it was for a different reason, I can definitely relate to the feeling bad about it. But we’re doing what we can to move on and do better, which is all we can do.
I’m so sorry for your loss. :( It’s something so difficult to come out of, so I’m really proud of you for limiting yourself to just 40 pounds and getting back on track! It is such a big deal! You got this here on out! Rooting for you <3