I got the most male attention when I was 120 lb (I’m 5’ 4”) and now I’m around 135 trying to go back to that. I don’t think I look bad, but I prefer to be 120. When I sent a selfie of me at 120 lb, guys were going crazy over me.
I guess my rule of thumb is to always expect criticism from overweight people, but I told my therapist and she said well you’re a woman now and you look awesome, so what is that.
I started getting ideas that everyone is just jealous lol, it’s weird how much of a barrier I have to push through to get to this weight I like and a lot of guys liked. Like if I just listened to all this criticism I would stay a higher weight.
I feel like the only people I got honest feedback from are fit guys while overweight women say I look awesome and don’t need to lose weight.
You probably do look awesome to the overweight women. Their perception of awesome may very well be at a higher weight than what your perception of awesome is. That doesn’t mean they’re critical or jealous of your efforts, just that they think you look awesome.
In any case, this line of thinking - that others are being critical or jealous - sounds like a lot of unnecessary mental drama.
At 5’4”, 135 is well within a healthy range, no shortage of fitness. You don’t need to lose weight, and you probably look great – those women are likely correct. They may be concerned, like many people in this comments section, that you are pursuing weight loss for reasons other than your own well-being, and may resort to sacrificing your well-being to achieve it.
Not to mention that telling a perfectly healthy person they are good-looking and shouldn’t feel pressured to lose weight is simply polite behavior. They are being polite to you and trying to boost your confidence, as kind people do.
The “honest feedback” coming from fit guys is a little suspicious – it sounds like they’re telling you what they want to see, not what they seriously believe is best for you, considering that you’re not currently in any danger of non-fitness at your present weight.
That said, 15 pounds isn’t going to hurt you anyway, and it’s your body, you get to do with it what you want.
I weighed 120 at 5’4” and didn’t get a period for months at a time. 120 was too thin for me. More important than anything is your health, if you are getting regular periods, feel energetic and don’t starve to get and stay there that’s great! But don’t get down on yourself if you fluctuate. If you are athletic I’m betting 135 looks great on you. See Megsquats for a different perspective on weight (and fitness.)
This is kind of a shallow way this approach dating… Do you really want to date someone that only approves of you because you are 120 lbs.? As a guy… I never heard a guy say, “ she would be hot if she was 15 lbs. lighter.”
I have a theory but it’s just a theory. I am not skinny by any means but I have lost weight and in the past was slimmer. I was about 230-235 and a few times I’ve lost weight in the 190-200 range. It just seems like there is a weight that either triggers the self confidence or pheromones are released people pick up on. It probably sounds weird but I’m fluctuating around 200-210 and on the lighter days I swear I reach the “MW” (magic weight) and people give me more attention. Nothing crazy just more friendly etc. like I said it’s just a theory haha
Why are you telling people about your intent to lose weight for aesthetics? You like the feedback you get from dudes, so make the adjustment and go get that feedback.
It’s less likely that you’re surrounded by jealous people and more likely that you’re bringing up a private decision with people who aren’t sure why you’re sharing or what response you want.
Don’t quite agree with seeking validation from men as the sole motivation to lose weight.
But I kind of agree with your point that if you talk to people who’re fitness oriented, they’re more likely cheer you on.
People who workout and have goals pertinent to health and fitness understand that it’s not just about ‘looking passably good ’, it’s about feeling good and being the best possible version of yourself.
Everyone around me wanted to stop losing weight at 165-170 lbs because I was ‘thin’ in comparison to them at that point.However, I personally felt good at 120-130 lbs (fit, lean, agile)- so I had to block out a lot of noise to get there.
Obviously, do it for yourself. But surround yourself with people who’re cheering you on for the right reasons.
My family is obsessed with looks. I’m 5’3” and for most of my life ~120lbs. I’m actually pretty attractive as is and receive a lot of attention from men and women; I’m generally content with my appearance. However, in the last five or so years I learned how to slim down considerably (mindfully, healthily).
When I drop 5-7lbs (which makes a big difference on my frame) the uptick in attention is astounding. Apparently losing just a few pounds takes me from just “attractive” to “super-hot” territory. I already get a lot of attention but receiving so much more…it like triggers the little girl in me that was never delicate or pretty enough for my mom…and, I hate to admit it, but I LOVE the attention.
I lost my dad last year so I let myself put on some weight again, but I totally get it. But you’re more than your weight…which is what I’m telling myself as I lounge around, browsing Reddit in my “fat” jeans.
I mean if you’re losing weight in a healthy way and enjoying the attention…just enjoy it. I think people are deluding themselves if they say they don’t enjoy the additional attention. I will say that as much as I enjoy the attention, it’s not a motivating factor for me. I like being super fit and healthy. Everything is just so much easier when you are. EVERYTHING. So if you’re having trouble slimming down again, maybe you just need more substantial motivation.
Edit bc I never addressed your initial question: I mean it’s the same reason we gain weight when we know how to be slim in healthy ways. There’s a lot of social conditioning around food and diet and health. Some people just have a hard time believing that they can also lose weight. I never knew I could lose just a few lbs and what a huge difference it would make. I also didn’t know it could be so easy. I was also under the belief that skinny people were doing it for all the wrong reasons (some do for sure). Everyone is weird when they’re presented with information that invites them to confront long-held beliefs that they’re comfortable having. That’s all. If you wanna be thinner and can do it by taking good care of yourself, just do it.