In my mind its created that if I gain 10 lb I’m less attractive and if I lose 10 lb im less attractive based on how people act towards me. Makes me self conscious going out.
36/M/5’11 here. I kind of have a similar experience as you. I started IF back in 2020 and went from 220lbs to 160lbs. 2022 hasn’t been a great year as I stopped IF and weight went back up to 190lbs. I’m now back on the train with more discipline and down to 184 (started a week ago) What I remember when I was 160lbs is everyone looking at me like “you are to skinny” I was perfectly within my BMI for normal healthy weight. I have come to the conclusion at least here in America that being overweight is looked at as “normal weight” while being within your BMI is considered to skinny by most. If you are within your BMI and happy with the way you look I’d say screw what others think. That’s what I did, and I look forward to dropping back down near 160.
Go to the gym and start lifting weights. Weighing the perfect weight is no longer important when you are more focused on getting stronger and knowing if you do then you will look better at a higher or a lower weight.
If this weighs on you, I suggest therapy or journaling for introspection. I’d argue that 10 pounds doesn’t really make a huge difference in how attractive you are rated. I mean, it does, but not as much as having confidence, wearing well fit clothes, wearing make up/ having a good haircut, etc.
So really this is about you struggling with imposter syndrome, feeling worthy, and liking yourself for who you are.
I wasnt prepared for it and didnt know it can happen. Sometimes weird behaviours happen.
The other day a woman was on her phone, but deliberately back stepped to be in the way, so I had to stop and say excuse me. She was watching me from the side.
I work in retail. The other day another lady wouldnt leave me alone. What takes a minute took 5 minutes.
Another one kept asking the same question over and over. I noticed she kept looking at me up and down while I spoke to her and she started to sweat.
I was mostly invisible before…now I exist!
I think with social media in our brains more, the desire to look good thrust upon us by corporations, because good looks sells…. has been magnified 100x by social media. They say 10% of the good looking people get all the dates, I reckon that is 5% now as social media has really narrowed our minds desiring the best. That sadly leaves a lot of lonely people that wont get a 1st look, nevermind a 2nd look. So remember to be kind with this new found power over others that you yield. Its like mind control almost. It is a little sad, but yeah lose weight if you want to survive, prosper and thrive in this environment.
What it feels like is that you have increased your like-able stats. Use it to your advantage.You now have the key to unlock many opportunities…. dating, job prospects, preferential treatment etc….. Good Luck in your new adventure!