-40 lbs (149lbs to 110 / 68kg to 50) in 2 years as a teen (17yo to 19), how did my life change ?

(Im 5”3’ / 160cm)

PROM (april 2019) 149lbs-68kg \/\/\/ April 2021 110lbs-50kg

Big storytime ahead lol, enjoy :

For starters, I have never been obese, or having health problems bc of my weight.
I’m from Europe, and i guess that the beauty/weight standards are quite more extreme than in the US, so since i was a kid, i’ve always felt “fat”. Also i was extremely active from my 3yo to 11yo (i was doing ballet, but got bored of it so i stopped), and my weight rapidly increased once i’ve stopped doing sport.

14 was the age when I started rapidly to take on weight (i was around 125.5lbs / 57kg), and the scary thing was that it was essentially fat. Even though we ate extremely healthy at home, I was, as every teenager, struggling with image, my body changing, and self confidence, which eventually led me to use food as comfort. I would eat more than other kids at lunch at school, use the money i would get for xmas/birthdays to buy food,…
And the more I’d do that, the more i felt bad about myself.
Then came high school. My family and I actually moved to another city, so new school, new people, new beginning (:
But High School is also a jungle on its own, and I slowly started an existential crisis. Combined to my body images issues, I started trying to change how i looked by every way : hairstyle, hair color, clothing, makeup,…
It helps me in a way ; when people would look at me, I would not interpret it as a “it’s because i’m ugly” because i knew my style was very extravagant. The typical “im so edgy and different” phase lol. I was ashamed to go to sport class because my cardio was so bad and also i just hated wearing leggings or other tight clothes. The “cool kids” never really talked to me or anything so I was hanging out with the nerdy peoples. I’m actually 100% fine with that because I’m still friend with them and i LOVE them.

But anyways, went on to senior year (2018-2019). From sophomore to end of junior, i maintained my weight (132 lbs / 60 kg) and at this point, my height was the same as today. I had a HUGE crush on a dude that was in my geometry class, but he was hanging out with the popular kids. We still became friends because he was a choir kids (and so was i) and he was totally confortable with his own “nerdy” side. I would have a lot of pressure about what would i do after high school, plus the fact that i would see him with pretty girls all the time, food became quite an addiction. I gained 17lbs / 8kg that year. By the end of the year, my crush and I actually got very close, to a point where we eventually kissed which gave me a bit of my confidence back. We never got in a relationship though but we were still friends. Prom arrived, and my crush didn’t go (Prom is not that big of a deal in my country) but i was the only one in my friendgroup without a date, which made me feel sad. I’m not blaming this only on my weight to be honest, I know that i was a lot more shy that i am today, not as confident, and i was CRAVING attention and validation, so i wasnt the best version of myself mentally either.

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Moving on to after summer, i’ve been accepted to my dream college and moved alone. That’s when I’ve decided that, it was time to do something. I started cooking everything, cutting sodas, going to the gym (once a week at the beginning, but progressively 3 to 5 times a week, which im still doing today), and then i learned about IF, thanks to this sub (btw i’ve been coming here everyday for like months but never created an account lol, idk i feel like i’m always scared of being judge, but anyways. Idc anymore, here i am haha)

I started 16:8 from september to december, then moved to 5/2 for about 6 months (during the first covid lockdown as well), and then OMAD, + if i was feeling it, some weeks, I would do a 72hours fast.
During the fist lockdown, gym were closed at some point so i stated running, at least one hour, everymorning. It might sounds a little extreme but i’m the kind of person that has to have a routine (especially during a time where you’re forced to stay at your place and not go out), otherwise i dont get things done. And including running in my routine was definitely the right choice (: I also changed my clothing style ad haircolor (i went back to my natural blond hair after dying it black for like YEARS).

So, how am I feeling today ?

Sincerely it’s quite strange. I do feel pround and better about myself, I’m not gonna lie. I do like wearing tight clothes now, and I am way more confident than before. I don’t regret anything.
But here’s the thing : some people that never talked to me before suddenly wanted to be my friends. Some guys that I knew from a long time suddently seemed to like me. And i’m not dumb, I know that we are in a society were how we look is a big social factor, but i’m not gonna lie about it, learning it the hard way hurts.
A lot of people told me (about stuff i like / my humor /…) “wow I had no idea you were this kind of person” but that’s just because they’ve never taken the time to know me before my “glow up”.
A lot of people that would say when i was heavy “omg you’re so pretty !” admitted lying at that time. Now I’m one of the “cool kids” at my UNI, and I’m happy about it, I have some really good friends but yep, sometimes, i have self confidence issues because i’m wondering “would life be like this if i was still the weight i was before ?”

I was wondering if i was the only one that experienced this kind of social changes and feel bad about it sometimes ? I’d be happy to read your stories in the comments if that’s the case !

So the only thing i can say is, if you start a weightloss journey, please, do it for yourself and yourself only. People will always be disappointing. (Except my family that always had my back <333).

I’m still the same as on the second picture now, i’m maintaining the weight with cardio, and 16:8 (:

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk lol ((: