I am 25f. 4 years ago with all my mental disorders, I started to have issues with my weight and have an unhealthy relationship with food. My peak was 209lbs. Then I started seeing a dietitian and lost 66lbs and was 143lbs. I was practicing 18:6 and 20:4 once a week.
I looked very beautiful when I was 143lbs. But everything turned upside down since 2021 November. I HAVE GAINED 66LBS. I stopped fasting and just ate whatever I wanted to because I thought I wouldn’t gain weight again.
People are noticing the obvious change and keep asking me about it. I already hate myself and they make it worse.
I am on lots of physchotic meds and I tell my doctor about my eating problem (she said it might be a disorder) but she doesn’t help me in regards to gaining weight.
I started fasting again with a 17:7 plan, wake up at 7am and go out to walk for at least an hour and try to make healthy choices. Nevertheless, I am VERY angry with myself and keep asking “how did you let this happen to you?” I lost faith in myself. I used to say “well I’ve lost it once, ı can lose it again” but I started to see that this is not the case. I’m spending best years of my life with weight struggles.
I don’t even know what I’m expecting from writing this… I guess I really need to vent. I hope I can stop eating chocolate (my only weakness is sweets, not burgers or pizza, etc)
I want to lose weight not because people think I’m ugly or fat or whatever, I want to lose weight because I want to love myself again, love my body and own what I wear. All my clothes are so small for me so they dont fit. I’m not buying new clothes because the small ones (which I bought when I was 143lbs) may inspire me to working towards weightloss goal and eventually fit in them.
I dont know… It takes lots of time to lose all that weight (it took almost 9months the first time) and I’m very impatient. I hate the way I look but I hate myself more for letting weight gain happen again.
Thank you.
Weight loss isn’t possible when you’re too busy hating yourself and feeling awful. Loving yourself at any weight, having compassion and understanding as to why you may have gained it back, and letting the anger go is key. Don’t be so hard on yourself, please. You are your own bestfriend. Treat yourself that way, and everything will change for you. Speaking from experience.
maybe some motivational pics of you on the fridge, pantry, on your phone, in your purse, on the mirrors, on your dashboard. It might help you stop taking a third bite. It is hard, but this forum has so many wonderful people as a sounding board. You can do it, little by little, bite by bite, hour by hour. Read only IF sites might help you stay on track. Love yourself, don’t be too hard.
Weight loss is never a linear journey. There will be ups and down. You’ve achieved something very few accomplish - losing 66 pounds - and that is something you should be incredibly proud. When you start all over again the knowledge/ discipline you gained over the 9 month period is something that’ll be with you forever. And as someone else on this thread mentioned - don’t be so hard on yourself!