People know I do IF, and sometimes more extended fasts. But i make sure not go to over too many details because i really hate people meddling in my life, trying to tell me how my body behaves, and how it feels, etc.
Recently I had an argument with my partner because she went over in detail with my IF efforts with my in laws, (despite me telling her multiple times, its a personal matter i don’t like being it discussed) And my mother in law started being judgmental about it
all of these without me being present, and having to learn from it from my gf.
How you deal with people you “have to keep seeing” when they start judging you?
Honestly I don’t feel like visiting my in laws anymore after this.
I just answer their questions and move on, personally. Everyone who’s ever judged me has serious health issues that fasting would probably improve, so worst case a couple of times I’ve said things like “Oh yeah, I’m gonna take health advice from you, you’re in great shape”. That shuts them up right fast.
Honestly, this doesn’t really seem like judgement from someone trying to learn about nutrition, or trying to come from a good place of concern*. The fact you no longer want to visit your in-laws over this and they keep doing it, it seems more like plain disrespect from them, and this is the topic they found easiest. (Especially because, presumably your spouse could have already advocated and told them to stop).
You mentioned a stronger response seemed rude (and I understand that from the aspect of maintaining relationships) so if the topic of diet comes up again why don’t you just turn it back on them and ask if they’ve been doing any health/hygiene practices that they are enthusiastic about? If they have something to share, they will talk about it, and if they don’t you can just give them a blank look and hold that for 3 seconds - enough to make them consider how they got in this situation.
*Especially because fasting is really not unheard of. For example, consider religious fasting practices.
Establish healthy boundaries. First, why did you partner say anything to the in-laws, if you asked multiple times not to share anything. To me, the communication and boundaries need work between you and your partner. Second, you do not need to discuss anything about your IF with your in-laws even after they judge you. During fasting window, just say you are not hungry if you are offered food by them. Not a big deal. Do not engage. And i am coming from a family of my own and in-laws who are very quick to judge and give advices. It took me about 4 years to establish solid enough boundaries to not engage in conversations judging my life. And even if i know they are judging me behind my back (but i have not actually heard them say things), i treat it as none of my business and the “gossip” is on them and the person who told me.
I could care less what others think. I’m the only one living in my body. I’m not gonna judge you for getting takeout every day, no need to judge me for what I’m eating. I also don’t discuss it with anyone though cause I don’t care about the lectures lol
I would be super upset if my partner said *anything* about my intermittent fasting routine to *anyone.*
Why was your partner talking about this with her parents? Does she feel:
Annoyed that you aren’t sharing meals with her?
Worried that you might develop an eating disorder?
Jealous because you are using self-discipline to successfully lose weight?