My (M,38) starting weight in mid 2019 was 87kgs. By late 2020 I had reached 70kgs (even logged 69 one day). I had never been so happy for such a long period in a long time.
A lot of things have happened between then and now. Got into a relationship, overstayed, bad break up, therapy, self work, self love etc.
Currently I am 3 kgs over my initial starting weight. I start fasting, I do well for a week and then I fail. I’ve done this successfully earlier but this time I am finding it really hard to even start. I am disappointed that I failed. In my mind, the people who praised my wins are pointing and laughing at me and my failure (Back then IF and fitness had become my total identity because I had nothing else to show in my life).
I believe I am posting this to find some acknowledgement and some kind words and advice to get back on the horse again. I am going in with a much healthier mindset and a balanced focus in life this time. I am hoping to gain some insight from or about people who failed and got back up on their feet again.
I thank you for reading. My best wishes to you.
The two best times to plant a tree are 20 years ago and right now. Don’t cry over what could have been, get driven by what you can craft from here. You’ve done it before, you’ve seen progress updates on here, it’s all perfectly possible
When you first gain weight your body has to create fat cells to store it. When you lose weight these cells are not destroyed to burn energy they are merely emptied which makes them much easier and cheaper to refill in the future.
The best analogy I can give is a room full of balloons. If you empty the balloons, there are still a bunch of empty balloons on the floor. And, not only are they empty, they have had that initial stretching that makes them easier to blow back up a second time.
Intermittent Fasting is a good way to retrain your body’s insulin response and to lower your insulin resistance b/c is that hormone that tells your body to store glucose in fat cells.
Since you were in a bad relationship, cortisol is the hormone that preferentially targets fat cells in between your organs (viseral fat) for that storage. That’s why finding an active means of de-stressing and escaping the constant crisis cycle is so important for weight loss (in men particularly, since women tend to have larger and more varied support networks).
I have experience in losing weight and gaining it back and then some more. Yo-yo could be my middle name.
I don’t have any insights, I’m afraid. Life always messed up things for me. Not that I don’t take any responsibility for it. I do! Maybe it would be different if I could be stronger, more resistant, and more self-disciplined?
When I started IF, I was more desperate than usual. On the mode ‘I would do this right, failure is not an option’.
I also could not decide on my goal weight when asked by the app. It tells me I didn’t truly believe I could do it. What would make a difference the number I wrote down? It’s not gonna happen anyway.
I was extremely lucky that I have found IF. With different methods, it probably wouldn’t work for me. The weight loss is an enormous factor in my journey, but I find that physical and mental health benefits are equally important for me. It is a more holistic* approach for weight loss. I just try to better myself.
If I could give some advice it would be to try to do best you can. If it’s a little, give it a little. If it’s a lot, give it a lot. Put your weight on it! ;) Try, start, and then continue your journey. Don’t give up! One day after another.
Is it in your mind that people judge you and find you wanting, or are they really doing it?
If they are doing it, then they are not truly your friends, or they are just joking.
If this is something you are projecting, then it is probably the shame you are feeling speaking because you failed. Our weight and appearance are very personal and dominating in our lives. It is either a success or a failure. You can try not to care what people are thinking about you, but it’s difficult to escape from self judgement. What you could do is not look around for approval from people but do something that brings you satisfaction and happiness. If it’s weight loss, do it! Work on yourself and give as much as you can!
*holistic - never thought I could use this word anywhere.
