You guys got me through the worst days! And you got me to being 30lb down. I need some help!
I have another 30lb to lose but have hit a slump. I know what I should be doing but am struggling. And was hoping for some tips and advice please!
I started IF when I separated from my partner (he cited my weight gain as one big issue during our marriage - his weight gain is equivalent). We have recently moved back in together to see how things go.
I was doing really well when living alone and just cooking for myself. It is proving to be much harder doing it with him around as it would mean cooking separate meals (he is a picky eater), also he has a habit of making late night snacks or ordering in, and will insist I join him. E.g. last night says he is hungry, so I made him something to eat, then he would only eat if I would join him - he would literally take a bite and have me take another. This was after my eating window had ended and so that is another fast failed.
I am partly also wanting to avoid conflict - but finding that I am missing all of the benefits of weight loss, IF, healthy living and feeling good about myself for all those reasons! It is my birthday in 8 weeks and I just want to lose 4lbs which had been my target (and gets me to my weight at my birthday 5 years ago!). I just need to get back in to the routine of IF and CICO!
Hi, what you’re describing is an abusive person. You need to leave this situation immediately. People like this do not change, it is over. If you’re married see a divorce lawyer while not changing any behavior that would tip your husband off. If you’re dependent on him financially or in some other way make a long term plan with a divorce attorney to get yourself in a good place to leave. There are so so many healthy and well adjusted fish in the sea. So many. If it were standard marital problems then that would be one thing, but leaving you for gaining weight and forcing you to eat bite after bite? Leave. Don’t just say no. Leave.
I know you’re seeking IF advice, not relationship advice, but everyone here is right - your partner’s behavior is troubling and the dynamic does not appear healthy. First of all, if he’s hungry at night, why are you the one preparing him a snack? A grown man can make his own food. But then to demand that you sit and eat with him when you’ve expressed you don’t want to? That is just nutso. On top of, of course, how disrespectful it was for him to claim your weight gain was an issue for him - all the worse given that he’s also gained weight AND is not supportive of your efforts to improve your health. I am sorry to say it but you will be way better off without this guy, and I think you know it yourself.
So many red flags here.. I would have a talk about our health and that you need him to support you. This doesn’t sound like he is worried about you but being selfish. Is this a person you want to be with long term? Sending positive thoughts, this sounds hard.